Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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