I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
