I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Acid is not a monday night drug
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
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I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
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An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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