My hair reeks of homosexuality.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I need moral support for this bender
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
