3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
