is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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