I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
