Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
