You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
