Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize