ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
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