its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I just gargled with NyQuil
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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