i jhust puked up my retainher.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
