Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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