She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
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I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
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Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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