Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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