There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
