I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
