The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
