i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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