I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize