when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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