Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
