Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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