HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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