Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
