would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Dear god my vagina.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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