I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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