I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
