he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Even my vagina gasped.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I lost the right to judge tonight
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
