And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
