Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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