cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
