puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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