google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
