Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
