You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
All I want is dick and wine.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
