Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
