do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
