I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
foreskin is a definite game changer
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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