do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
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You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
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she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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