batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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