I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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