You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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