bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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