drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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