go do what you do best...puke behind churches
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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