I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Randomize