I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
