who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize