didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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