i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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