Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
