I think i sorta joined a cult last night
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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