So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
