I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
so let's talk penis.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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