Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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