dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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