i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
