I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
