It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
