we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
he thought i was a dude.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Omg I joined a choir last night...
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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