Your face is a jimmy john
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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