why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
