I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
