My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
