white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
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i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
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So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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